Tall Comebacks

Don't use the classic phrase: "Do you play basketball?"

Don't use the other "classic" "What's the weather like up there?" either.

Don't call her a "Giantess!"

Don't ask her for her height when you first meet / e-mail her.

Don't ask her for her shoe-size when you first meet / e-mail her.

Don't ask her for other measurements like waist, chest, hand-size etc.

Don't ask her if she will carry you.

Don't ask her if she has got a taller sister / mother / daughter.

If she is much taller than you - don't stare at her cleavage.

Don't call her "Amazon". Some girls may not mind but you can't be sure that the one you're talking to doesn't.

Don't call her "Big Bird" - that generally doesn't go down too well.

Don't call her "Jolly Green Giant" - see the reference to "Big Bird".

Don't ask her to stand in the door-frame in order for you to take a picture - at least not on your first date.

Don't ask her to bow down - climb onto a milk-crate or a ladder instead.

Don't try and hide behind her back if there is some trouble brewing up. Tall ladies enjoy the feeling of being protected too (at least most of them do).

Here are a few good ones from 6'4" Nancy:

"You could wrap those legs around me twice"

"Now there's a tree I'd like to climb"

"I could eat my way to the top"

And a few stupid questions with a fitting comeback courtesy of Muggs from CA:

"Are you really that tall?  (NO! I'm really standing on stilts!)"

"Are your parents tall?  (Duh!  I had to get my height from somewhere!! Huh?)"

"When first meeting people they say, "WOW!! You're tall!"  (Hey! Tell me something I don't know!! [rolling eyes]!!)"

Here's one sent in by Debbie:

One of my (male) friends asked to try on this tall girl's sneakers to see if they wore the same shoe size.

One more - from Elizabeth (includes a great comeback):

The best come back I've ever developed to deal with the short - and always EXTREMELY cocky / mouthy / blustering - guys who view me as their personal Mt. Everest rather than a person is to pat them gently on top of their head and tell 'em:

"Don't worry, hon'... just as soon as you hit puberty, you'll start to grow, too."

Because these jerks are always in a pack, the total embarrassment they suffer is doubled because alllllll their friends are watching. :-)

Sherree suggested this one:

"She is really, really, really tall, but not as tall as you."

Two great comeback suggestions from Elaine (6'2"):

"I'm the kind of woman that you can put up on a pedestal without having to go out and buy a pedestal!"

"I'm the only woman I know who really gets her money's worth when I buy a pair of jeans!"

Jeanne is angry:

I'm 6'2" and I've heard "How's the weather up there?" so many times I could puke! I usually tell them "A little thin but I've gotten used to it" or "Oh, I don't know. Would you like me to pick you up so you can see for yourself?"

6'0" Monica has come up with this one:

When asked, "How tall are you?" I say, "6 foot and worth the climb." Then I do a spin and walk off letting them know they'll never have the chance!

Carrie Ann who is 6'0" says:

When you're using cheesy pick-up lines and telling me how I've really grown into a lovely hour-glass figure and I tell you to get over it, don't say my legs are too long for you to get over, or I'm too tall for you to get over.

Holly suggests:

If you feel like getting nasty... When someone asks you, "How's the weather up there?", my mother always told me to spit and say, "Looks like rain." Neither of us ever did it of course but it is kind of funny.

Shannon wrote in and commented:

My mother's (6'0") comeback to "How's the weather up there" was, "There's a telephone in my ass, call up and find out!"

Emily uses those:

Whenever a total stranger walks up to me and asks "Do you play basketball" I always (knowingly) reply, "No, why?" Of course, the other person says "Because you're so tall!" Without missing a beat I respond,"You're pretty short, but I didn't ask you if you were a gymnast, did I?"

Sometimes I change it up and say, "Well, you're pretty short - do you ride horses?"

Pat just sent me this one:

I'm 6'2" and when people ask "How tall are you? I say 5'14" and you should see their faces!! Thanks, Pat.

Kim wrote in to suggest an "old" classic:

I am 6 foot tall. When I'm asked if I play basketball (which happens more often than is imaginable) I respond, "No, do you play miniature golf?"

Ashley writes:

People tell me all the time that "it must suck to be so tall" and I say no, cause you have to try to stand out, me , I could sit down and still stand out.

Hannah has come up with:

If somebody says "how tall are you?" you say "I don't know, how much do you weigh?"

Brenda says:

Hi! I'm 6'2" & when asked if I'm standing on a box, I say no, are you standing in a hole? (was a cashier behind a counter). Also, when asked what I'm standing on, I say I'm standing on the Word of God.

Brenda (love this site, thanks!)

The latest comment comes from Celia:

I hit 6 feet in high school and when people asked me if my parents were tall, I'd respond with a perfectly straight face and tell them "My parents are circus midgets!"

Kate writes:

My dad told me this one to say to people after they ask me "How's the weather up there?" "I don't know. What's it like down by my ass?" Good if you're feeling nasty.

Jennifer says:

Hi, I am 6ft in WV so I get this one a lot: "How did you get so tall???" (Rolling my eyes)... Answer: "My dad used miracle grow!"

Drew (6'1") wrote in to suggest:

This snappy reply works in most situations in which a shorter person asks a question that you find annoying: "Stand up and say that." Of course they need to be standing already. Got that one from my Dad.

Vicki (6'2") has a few thoughts:

Hi there! What a great site this is! I'm only just beginning to look around, starting with the quotes was a great choice… what a great group of women, and wow, does it feel good knowing I'm not alone!

I'm 6'2" and when somebody asks me how tall I am I say nothing, I just look at them with a blank stare, nobody ever knows what to do!

One of the worst things I hear is from other tall women (if you can believe it). I have had so many of them stand next to me and say "I thought I was tall!" as if to imply that there is no longer anything wrong with her because I'm a bigger freak!

Another just awful thing that I CAN'T STAND is when short people stand next to me and start jumping up and down - it used to embarrass me before I became a mom to four wonderful children and was blessed with the knowledge that there are SO MANY more important things in life and that people who do things like that are lacking something... who does that?

I almost forgot one: I grew up without a father and when somebody asks me "is your dad tall?" I say "I don't know, he married the next door neighbor after having a three year affair with her, I was only six so I can't quite recall how tall he is." if they're still standing there I go on about how he adopted her two daughters (one of which had been my best friend) and sent them to college while I paid my own way through and how I found this out by visiting a friend at college and had someone say to me after I told her my name "I know your sister Michelle" and I say "I don't have a sister Michelle" and then it dawns on me that she was referring to my ex-friend who was now apparently my sister and apparently attends college at the university I was only visiting for the weekend because I couldn't afford to go there. And then I say "the next time I run into her I could ask her how tall our dad is."

I just go on and on and on. It really is hysterical - hey, if somebody asks a question.

~Vicki

Here's what 6'3" Octavia has to say:

Stranger: Do you play basketball? Octavia: No, why? Stranger: You're so tall? Octavia: Do you play football? Stranger: No, why? Octavia: Because you're so fat! (Joerg adds: I'm not sure if this was an actual conversation though)

This one comes from Nancy who is 6'0":

Whenever someone tells me "Wow, you're really tall!" or calls me an Amazon or the such, I just laugh and tell them "Sorry for your bad luck" which I truly believe!

Zeusa (who doesn't make "my height requirement") suggests:

Question (by a man) to very tall woman: "Do you ever get mistaken for a man?" Response from very tall woman: "Only when I kick a man's ass!"

6'1 1/2" Jennifer has quite a few things to say:

I just read through your Things not to say to a tall lady... you really have no idea how many times I have heard those comments. I have been over 6 foot since I was 12 so I have had plenty of time to think up happy witty comebacks.

Q: How tall are you? I'm 6 foot 1 and a half. Note: That half is important - If I gave that 'half' people would not say the normal dumb things, they would get stuck on that half and make fun of it. "oh like being over 6 foot isn't enough, you have to count that half." That half cut dumb comments in half.

Q: You look like Big Bird. A: You look like (insert best Muppet character here) Note: Miss Piggy works great and Kermit is actually very offensive used this way. Face it, who wants to be snuffel-up-agas?

Q: You're the Jolly Green Giant. A: And you're his little friend?? A: Are you color blind? (If said seriously, you can actually see them think about it.)

Q: How's the weather up there? A: Great, there's no short people polluting it. A: Good for me, but I have gas so I bet it's windy where you are. A: My knees feel wet, are you getting rain? A: It's clear up here. Are you getting snow or is that dandruff?

Telling me I can't wear heels because they make me taller is like telling someone 5 feet tall that they can't have flats because they make them shorter.

Great site, thanks for the giggle,
Jen

6'4" Amanda loves to say:

"I am a mighty sequoia in a field of bonsai!"

6'1 1/2" Veronica writes:

First I wanna say, love the site.

I get a lot of off comments about my height so here's a few of my comebacks.

To the ever so popular "Do you play basketball?" Question I normally reply with either: "Yea, want me to dunk your head in a basketball hoop for ya?" or "I use to until I got tired of tripping over the cheerleaders."

When called an Amazon I normally just tell them "Yes, and you're lucky it's illegal to carry a bow and arrow set around because I could use a moving target"

When asked "Why are you so tall?" I just retort with "Why are you short enough to use as an armrest?"

Yea...I get snappy with the comebacks because I get tired of being asked about my height....

6'1 1/2" Tera just wrote in to say:

When men ask me how tall I am, I will say something like, "Tall enough to see your bald spot".

5'11" Erica emailed the following comment:

GREAT SITE! Thank you so much! I get a lot of comments from people when I wear heels (and I love some really cute, really tall shoes!). The convo goes something like this: "Why are you wearing heels? As if you need the height!" My response: "It's not my fault you're short." (mixed reaction depending on delivery)

 I received this email from Jenn who's 5'10" (couldn't resist the little rhyme):

OMG. LOVE LOVE LOVE the site!!!! One of my comebacks to "Do you play basketball" is "No, I am actually a midget wrestler - want to go?!" And another I HATE is "You're a big woman" - Oh, well, I mean tall - not BIG! Yeah, I am a chick. BIG = FAT! Tall = TALL! Get it????

LOL
Jenn
5'10", wears heels ALL THE TIME and LOVE IT!!!!

5'10 1/2" Sherry wrote in to say:

I was enjoying your web site and I am also a tall woman 5'10 1/2" and have been asked all the same questions but the one response I have had to someone saying to me "My Goodness, you are Tall!" I was in a grocery store and the clerk said that to me and I said I "Oh no! When did that happen?!" The look I received from the store clerk was priceless! And the people in the check out line behind me got a chuckle too! Sometimes when I am asked "How Tall are You?" I say "Oh, about 10 feet. How tall are you?" 5'2" they would answer. And I would say that's what I figured. LOL

6'5" Cara comments:

I'm Cara, and 6'5", but I thought of this one for my sister who is 6'3". When people ask her how tall she is, she responds with "I'm the number of days in the year minus the fourth prime number divided by two plus the square route of 64 - in centimetres." People just give her a confused look, and it's wonderfully satisfying. =) We have tons of comebacks for when strangers make comments about our height, but what's hard is when they don't say anything -they just stare. I've taken to slapping my ass and walking away... it's sort of like "you wish you could have some of this". It's also great to watch their 'oh snap she caught me staring!' face. Great website by the way!!

6'0 3/4" Aini emailed me her thoughts:

Hi. I thought of being active in the website now since there are many people who are tall. I'm Asian and 1.84m/6foot 3/4inches. So, naturally asians are short people right? Trust me, stares and questions are like everyday's conversation and acts. So here are a few that I always use and always work (to me that is.)

"Oh my god, you are so tall!" --- "Oh YOUR god, tell me something that your god doesn't know already"

"Do you play basketball?" --- "Why? You wanna play? Don't ask me though, I don't play it. Try googling for a team" (It works best if you walk away straight after that....)

"How tall are you?" --- "Tall enough to see a sea of hairs in different colours. Need help to see the view?"

"Why do you still wear heels? You're too tall already?" --- "Oh I know, your life is so sad that you need heels to be tall as me but hey, don't bear grudges!"

"Can you give me some of your height?" --- "Can't. Sorry. It took me years to have this height, go get yours yourself."

"Is it hard for you to find a boyfriend?" --- "No, its easy actually, I just wanna strut my stuff for more guys to see. You know, I'm like a headline." "What's so good about your height?" ---

"I can bring down your ego shorter than you already are" (Always stare down at them at the same time.)

Well, its kinda harsh but sometimes frustration gets the better of you so my answers tends to be a bit harsh but it is for us ladies who constantly gets the question, boy do these replies scare them and make them shut up. Oh yes, they work well. :P GOOD LUCK TRYING and feel free to email me so that I can get to know more tall people!

6'1" Kathy in Indiana writes:

I am 6'1 and when people ask me how tall I am, I smile, put my arm around them, and reply: "Tall enough for you to be my deodorant checker!" I love the disgusted look on their face!!!!!

Just received this email from 6'0" Tamra:

I stumbled upon your site and really got a kick out of it. I'm 6ft tall, and my sisters are about 5" 11, and we love being tall and we are not shy about it.

Like I said, I'm tall, blond and leggy. So why is it that the short guy with the attitude thinks he is the answer to my dreams... even when I'm out with my husband????? When a short guy get's pushy and intrusive, While standing, I draw an imaginary line with my hand, in front of my chin (well above his head) and say "You must be this tall to ride this ride, that's the rules. We wouldn't want you getting hurt".

Love the comebacks! Tamra

6'2" Irene wrote in to comment:

One time I was talking with a friend of a friend and this person says: "Wow you are big." I acted very upset and serious and replied: Well are you saying I'm fat because big means fat and tall. (Note: I'm very skinny) The person felt so guilty and said "oh no that's not what I meant I'm so sorry. Big is definitely not the word." I think he learned his lesson.

A comeback for "how's the weather up there?" or anything like that is to do the following: (1) put your hand over your eyes like a sun visor and say "where's [insert name] I can't see you" or (2) "Oh, I think i hear something... wait, wait... sounds a bit squeaky..." or (3) give them a straight serious face and say "are you serious? or stupid? I guess the shorter you are the dumber you are. Hey thanks for proving my point (or hypothesis)!" 

Lori came up with:

I always used the Burt Reynolds quote from, I think it was, the movie Hooper... "Why don't you just step up on a ladder and kiss my ass."

Laura has the following to say:

My tall (6'6") husband's favorite comeback for most comments is: "I would take offense at those words, were I not ABOVE them." It's always nice to be the bigger, oops I mean taller person. See, here is a case where bigger does not mean fatter!

Just in from 6'1" Nicole:

Hi there, Fun site. Here are two of my favorites:

1) People walking behind me saying, "Wow, she's tall, taller than me (a man), etc. I turn around and say, "Yeah, I can actually hear up here too."

2) Wow, you're tall... Me: Do you feel better? That you said that out loud? Ridiculous. then walk away.

3) Wow, you're a big girl. "Wow, you're an ignorant ass." or "Wow, you're short and fat." "Wow, what a little man."

I always like to follow those with a disgusted, "Unbelieveable..." and an eye roll as I walk away.
Thanks, that was fun!!

6'4" Corrie wrote:

I am 6'4 and here is an idea to add to "not to" DON'T ever tell a woman she is big. Unless you are calling her fat, and if that is the case be prepared to run.

Also, when asked if I played basketball (even though I did) I generally so no, but I was a synchronized swimmer.

I have always wanted to use this as a comeback, but haven't done so yet. When shorter men ask me if it's hard to find dates, I generally just smile and raise my hand anywhere above there head and say, "Well they have to be at least this high to ride this ride."

Last but not least, when I am hit on by someone significantly shorter that will not take a hint regardless of my polite efforts. I sometimes say, the problem is I plan to have children who play in the NBA...you would ruin my chances... That usually does the trick.

6'2" LC wrote:

I'm 32 years old, 6'2" and weigh about 220 lbs (yeah I know, working on it...). I love myself, I know I'm amazing! Even more so when wearing heels. But I hate being big (bigger or, let's face it, the biggest person) in the room. I also have 2 amazing children (4/5, 1/5). I have heard those sentences so many times! My favorite comeback for basketball lovers is – "no, I can't play ball but I am a model...". My amazing husband is shorter than me (5'9") and is skinny, I mean size 30 skinny! And he loves me and we have great dances and have been walking hugged together for many years already. He is gentle and protective as if I was a little chicken. The only mistake I regret is excepting his family's (mother) pressure and wearing flat sandals on my wedding night.

6'0" Katie wrote:

I'm 6'0" and I go out to the bars pretty often. After someone (usually a guy) sees me a few times, I guess they feel like they know me. This leads to them trying to forgo 'hello' and name exchanges and go right for the hug. This means they'd get a boob right to the face or a (very) close-up of my cleavage. I've stopped them and asked to see their ride bracelet, or I've also said "I'm gonna need a dollar first. I don't work for free." I just LOVE the looks I get, and every once in a while I hear other people bust out laughing. I get asked to dace alot by really short guys too, I just say I don't feel like tripping over them. I love this site! Thanks for all the fun.

6'0" Sarah has a few as well:

"You are so tall": I take a surprised air and reply "REALLYYYYY ???" or "WOW you are so short !!!"
When a short ugly guy comes to me and says "I love tall women" meaning "I would like to have sex with you... I don't mind you being tall", I answer "I hate / don't like short guys"
"Why are you so tall ?": I reply "Why are you so stupid?" or "Why are you so short?". Thing is, I reply that to people who ask the question with a stupid air or like I am a curious beast... Most people follow their question, by : "It's beautiful, I wish I were taller, or as tall as you"
"How's the weather up there?": I answer "Nice! Too bad you can't check it out by yourself!"

The ones I hate are: "You are a big girl" cause I'm 6'0" but not "skinny skinny" I am kinda normal silhouette, but nice legs, boobs, good proportions (160 lbs) and I then don't know what to reply... "You aren't fat, it's just that you are tall..." - what is that supposed to mean??? Anyway... I get the compliments happily but like everything else, the bad comments are also there... I love the answers of those girls! Really nice! Thanks for the website! It's fun! Sarah - Miami, FL 6'0"

Here's a new one from 5'11" Jeanna:

I'm 5'11" and my boyfriend is 6'1", but his older brother is 5'8" and enjoys razzing me about my height (and clothes, and future profession, etc.). He's supposedly kidding, but he's got an ego the size of North America. I got him good last week when he joked about me wearing heels to a party. I just looked right at him and said, "well, we can't all be as short as you." This works on other shorter-than-average people who tactlessly point out my height too! :)

6'0" Keri suggested:

I got more leg than a bucket-o-chicken!

 6'1" Suzanne wrote in to comment:

I've gotten the "my gosh, are you really that tall?" (I'm 6'1" about 155 lbs) many times. One time, out of the blue, I replied: "No, actually it's all done with mirrors". That left the questioner at a loss for words and red in the face, so, I've used that reply many times since.

5'10" Joyce just sent me this:

Here's my fav:

Question: You are already so tall, why do you wear heels? Answer: SSHH... don't tell my feet... they don't know.
Comment: Wow, you are tall! Reply: You're kidding! When did that happen?????

Joyce, who is 5'10" and has been since 7th grade when she was as tall or taller than all the girls, all the boys, all the teachers, and the principal!

6'0" Anna emailed me and wrote:

Hi, I am 6'0" tall. I have a sister that is 6'1" another 5'11", brother 6'4", dad 6'3", aunts, cousins, you get the picture, we're all tall (except poor momma). Here are a couple of comebacks I like to use:

"Gosh you're tall!"

"Not really, I'm actually average height" (you should see the stupid looks on their faces) then I say... "for my family".

"Did you play basketball?" "Sure did, Colorado State University." (I live in Arkansas and I don't even know if there is a Colorado State University.) "Really??" "No". (I get no response after that.)

I also like to tell people that my mom had tall kids to get things down off the top shelf for her since she is so short. I also hate the big = tall thing. Whenever someone has stupidly told me I was big I either look at them and say "excuse me?" or "are you calling me fat" they stumble over their words then. The only time I have ever been called amazon was buy a guy in high school that was way below average height so I got to call him every "short" name in the book. Funny, amazon was the only name he could come up with for me.

Anna

5'10" Lisa says:

I'm 5'10" and I love being tall - I regularly wear the tallest shoes that I can comfortably walk in which is usually 3" to 4" inch heels. When asked how tall I am, I say "5'10" in my flats, and 6'2" in my heels, and I would not give up one inch!!!!" Rock on tall ladies!!!!
Lisa

6'2" Christina wrote:

I'm 6'2", and I hate when people tell me how uncomfortable my height makes them. Seriously? What if I were different in some other way? Would it ever be OK to say to someone "Your missing arm makes me really uncomfortable" or "You are so ugly that I don't know how to talk to you"? I used to get down on my knees beside them and ask if that made it better, but I've realized being gracious made me the bigger person. Pun intended ;-)
~Christina

6'1" Lisa emailed me:

Hi my name is Lisa and I am 6'1". One thing I didn't see on the list of quotes was something I get told frequently. The old addage  "The bigger they are the harder they fall." I just reply: "That's okay. There are always plenty of short people to land on."

This just in from 6'2" Rebecca:

I just stumbled across your site while looking for shoes. I think you might appreciate this: "Wow! How tall are you?"

Depending on the tone of the question I will either give them an honest answer (6'2"), or if I'm not in the mood I'll bring my palm to the top of my head and say, "Oh, about THIS tall." That shuts them up every time!

I haven't found a snappy answer to the do you/did you play basketball question yet, and even though I'm approaching 40 yrs old I still hear it plenty. I've determined that my height is my reward for being a music fan. I never have a hard time seeing the stage at a rock show! :)

6'2 1/2" Ann wrote:

Answer from 6ft 2.5 inch English woman (50) to the "Did you play basketball?" question: Explain in significant detail that I was a goal shooter in the netball team, played for the school team, for Suffolk etc etc. This is particularly good in the US where you can give a detailed and boring description of the differences and similarities between netball and basketball until the eyes of the other person glaze over... Ann

6'0" April emailed me this:

I am an 6'0". When people in stores point to the top shelf and ask if I can "hand them that", I say "sure" and point to the bottom shelf and ask they can "hand me that". It's too low and I can't reach it!

6'0" Anna got in touch to say:

Hi, I love your site, I am 6'0" tall and EXTREMELY tired of strangers saying "Oh, you must play basketball" - not only am I ridiculously uncoordinated and clumsy, I loathe basketball! I finally got fed up the other day when the second stranger said to me, "You are so tall! You must play basketball!". To which I answered: "No, but you are so short - are you a jockey?" They quickly got the picture, awkwardly laughed and apologized. It's now my go-to comeback for that age-old "tall girls MUST love basketball" stereotype.

Thanks, Anna

6'0" Melissa says:

Q: Woahh why are you so tall?
A: This way, it's easier for you to kiss my ass.

6'1" Catherine has this take:

6 foot 1 in bare feet, never wear heels. If I'm being hassled by a guy in a bar, I stand up to my full height, open with "nice bald spot" and then say "I'm a rocket scientist and I work for JPL. What do you do?" in my most withering voice. Evil, but it works!
Catherine

6'0" Carlee wrote in to say:

My name is Carlee and I am 6'0" and have been since about the age of 13. I get all of the comments you guys are talking about. It's so annoying! My favorite comeback that I use quite frequently when a guy says something about how tall I am is "I would rather be a tall female than a short male any day of the week" sometimes if we are in a bar or somewhere with a lot of people I follow with "should we go take a survey and see how many people agree with me?" That usually shuts them up.