I have been tall all my life....I reached my current height of 6'4" when I was 11 years old and in elementary school. I have also been BBW for most of my life (as far as I can remember, I have always been a double digit dress size), so I have had quite awhile to get used to my size and stature. Some things have changed over the years and decades, most notably fashion and clothing for women of height. I remember in elementary and junior high school having to wear men's shirts so the sleeves would be long enough and keeping them buttoned all the time so no could tell it was a man's shirt. I remember too short pants and my mom treating me to the one tall specialty shop in DC once a year for dresses and skirts. Today, plus size stores such as Torrid, Avenue, and Lane Bryant are catering to women who are not only blessed with extra curves but those with extra height.
One thing that has not changed is the dating game but I have to say regardless of height, weight, age or race...all women find themselves in the same boat. I live in Washington, DC...land of men who are shallow and/or shy....they tend to measure their masculinity and worth in inches (height and "other places") and judge women by their numbers (weight and dress size), so the more above average a woman is, the more unique her challenges. I am constantly asked two questions (usually back to back): how tall are you, which I find completely unoriginal and a little invasive. What if I asked every short man I met how tall he is? They would not take it very well, but I find myself asking men taller than me how tall they are. I tell them it is rare to find a man taller than me, which it is. Maybe I am the pot calling the kettle black. The second question is: did you ever play basketball, which I find discriminatory and restricting. Is that all tall girls are capable of or supposed to do? Besides, look at me...do I LOOK like playing sports has ever been a part of my lifestyle? However, my standard answer is I have always been more academic than athletic.
I find that with my height, there is no shortage of men who are interested in me, but these men can placed in one of three categories: fetish seekers who view me as an object instead of a person; the ones with inadequacy issues who wonder if they can "handle" me and the guys who view me as a regular person. The guys in the last category are far and few between and tend to friendzone me. The fetish seekers are the worst. I get endless questions and comments about my height, who's the tallest guy I ever dated, who's the shortest, do I wear heels, so I know how tall I would be if I wore heels, what size are my feet...and the list goes on. Conversations with these men are painful and dates are impossible.
The inadequate men always have questions about their manhood, which is surprising to me as they like to ask those questions before even asking my name. I tend to cut those men off at the pass VERY quickly but ended up inadvertently not only dating one, but falling in love with him. That did not end well (he married someone else who was shorter than he was) but I really should have seen it coming : he kept telling me I needed someone younger, taller, more...everything. And last but not least are the regular guys...they tend to be shorter also, but they are more confident in themselves and realize that this is not a one size fits all world. They see my intelligence and personality and are genuinely interested in who I am and how I am doing versus asking me how the air is up here. Unfortunately, they are usually already taken which keeps our friendship a friendship, we are not attracted to each other "that way" or they are as damaged goods as I am if not more so.
Usually, I have always dated men shorter than I...I have dated two men my height and it is wonderful to be able to look someone in the eye standing up. Unfortunately, tall men tend to go for short women, which leaves my end of the scale a bit unbalanced. Although, the little man (seriously, he was a midget) was a little too far on the wrong end of the scale for me to even contemplate. It is hard being a tree in a sea of shrubs...it takes me a minute to realize how tall I am because for me...it feels "normal", whatever that is. It is hard to know how I come across to men because I am such a girly girl and tend to dress and be very feminine so I wonder why in the world they are intimidated. However, I have had years to adjust to my height; I tend to forget that people who just meet me have not.
But like most single women of any age, race and size...I am somewhat hopeful that there will be a man out there who not only will welcome the challenge of a tall woman but will happily meet and conquer them.
I hope you enjoyed my post...if you would care to find out more about me or read more of my work, please feel free to check out my blog. Thanks for reading!